Self-doubt and impostor syndrome is such a horrible feeling. I think it's something all of us as business owners have felt before. Honestly, I don't think you'd be human if you hadn't felt it. The realities are, you're probably going to feel it again.
Self-doubt, I just don't think it's something that's cured, I always say new level, new devil. When you think you've overcome one kind of personal doubt or fear of yours, you reach another level in your business and something else comes out. So it's really a case of how can you manage it best.
I've been running my business now since 2013. Thats 9 yers in business and I still have self-doubt, honestly, it might be when I release a new product, or it could be a podcast episode, even showing up on social media, which is not my favourite. I always go through the fear of will people like it? Am I giving value, is it even worth me speaking about it? What happens if no one purchases my course or my eBooks? I know I'm not perfect, and nobody is and self-doubt is going to happen.
The biggest lesson is that you can't let it run your life. You can't let it stop you from doing that thing that's inside of you. I think what's always most important is actually how you overcome the self-doubt, instead of feeling paralysed, iit's all about pushing through when you feel uncomfortable, or honestly, just afraid.
So I'm going to share with you a few of the tips that I worked through myself and I get my clients to work through. Honestly, the biggest thing to remember is we actually all go through this. So don't feel alone, I would say.
Step one, fill your feelings.
So go in the shower and cry. But honestly, it's not useful to ignore your feelings of self-doubt, as much as that I'm a bit of a fake it till you make it. It is still really important to sit down and be honest with yourself about how you're actually feeling. I usually like to really ask myself, what am I afraid of? What am I doubting? I've spoken to you about this before I always say I work on negative optimism. I always ask what's the worst that can happen? is it going to be that bad? Often the answer to these questions make me realise it's not really that bad. If it is going to be that bad, I can kind of create a backup plan for it.
So let's just say for example, what happens if I launch my brand new business to crickets? Well, before I started my business, I made sure I had a little bit of savings, I made sure that there was a need in the market. I started my first business as a side hustle. So I also still had my income from my full-time job, that for me was my negative optimism, where I really hope that my business is going to succeed. But I've got a backup plan in place if it doesn't. Often though, the worst-case scenario is way bigger in our minds than it actually is in reality. So acknowledge the feelings of self-doubt, and then move on.
Step two: Stop comparing
This one's very tricky in the world of social media, stop comparing yourself what, where I am in business and in life is completely different to where you are for a variety of different reasons and how long I've been in business, how, where I live, I mean, let's be honest, even the privilege of living in a western society.
So it's really important that even though it is natural to compare yourself to really try not to, it is just a waste of time, you are doing the best that you can do. You are working to the best of your ability with a situation that you've been down in life and that's really cool.
Some business owners or parents are super busy so they don't have the time or let's be honest, the interest to spend 24 hours a day hashtag 5 am hustle grind. Whereas some business owners are making more money in the first six months than you've ever made in your entire business is all okay, it's not a race. We, in business have to understand, it really is all about the ups and the downs just like life.
So spending your day worrying about what everyone else is doing, it's just really not going to get you anywhere. So really just keep your eyes on your own business, and what you can be doing better differently less off. That is going to really help keep you moving forward, and honestly have true success.
Step three, working through it.
I know I said, feel your feelings. But the biggest thing that I noticed, particularly with my business coaching clients is sometimes they can feel their feelings and then give up. That's not cool. Yeah, the feelings one, the self-doubt one. So it’s really important that as much as a pity party is sometimes great, you can't let that be the reason you haven't launched or you haven't grown or you haven't gotten in front of people, you just can't let it stop you.
So as much as you feel the feelings, it is really important to continue to take even the smallest steps towards your goals, because your self-doubt it will begin to mount. Then it will become self-doubt, or you'll reach a new level and you'll have a new problem.
But honestly, I found out working through the really really hard times and in business, I've had some really tough times, and then partner it with my personal life I have discussed before I've got a chronic disease. So I can be feeling low or unmotivated. I just can't be bothered anymore.
But working through often. I hate this because it's a bit of a cliche, but it's when there's a lot of breakthroughs in business because you kind of see things from a different perspective. Sometimes it can just be, I don't need 17 different systems to run my business I can just do this with social media and emails. I think that breakthrough is always really, really great.
Number four, remembering your why and trust your values.
I speak a lot about why and values. Just because everybody's doing one thing, it doesn't mean that you need to be doing it that can be really tough. It can be tough to stick to your guns, but it's so important, especially in times of self-doubt, to remember why you're doing what you're doing and really trust your values. Maybe everyone in the industry is doing something one way and you just don't want to do it.
For me, my first business is a transport company. It was a very male-dominated industry and the hiring process was reflective of that. As a female shopping and having strange men come into my house. I didn't want to feel like they were going to come back and rob my house. I wanted to feel safe and secure. I wanted nice people to be in there.
When I started that business in 2013, it was unusual that the drivers were presented in a respectable way. Competitors would be so gross with sweat patches and armpit hair touching new furniture, gross. So for me, it was really important, when I'm trying to create this business that I'd never done before, all I've done has been a customer for business of similar businesses. It was really important for me to remember my why and remember my values and just really keep pushing through.
Step five: practising self-compassion.
I'm super critical of myself, but honestly, self-compassion can do amazing things for your mindset and with your confidence. I've got my brag bank, so that's my kind of list of all of the things I've achieved, why I'm kind of bragging about myself, having that, along with kind of testimonials from clients are happy customers, even just honestly having clients that you love working with, they always cheer me up, because they just remind me that what I'm doing is important.
I also have a self-care box, this is a new thing in the last couple of years and my box is full of little goodies. It includes shower gels, candles, I've got a heat pack in there, I have a secret bar of chocolate. So honestly, when I'm in a really low mood, I can just go there to my self-care box and treat myself.
6) Talk it out
Have you ever just spoken to somebody and you just have a little rant and then you are fine. There's so much value in just speaking to your girlfriend, your business bestie your business coach, your partner, your friends or your family, anybody that you work alongside or that you can trust to be vulnerable with.
I think talking things through sometimes. A problem shared is a problem halfed I really do believe in that because sometimes just saying it out loud can calm you down.
7) Make a decision, move forward in action.
Just do something. So often, when self-doubt begins to take over. Sometimes you just need to make the decision to move forward and take any action, even the smallest step.
I see a lot of my clients especially they get this analysis paralysis, where they want every single thing to be perfect and here's the secret sauce of someone who's been in business for absolutely years. Literally, nothing is perfect. Even when you think “I've read it, I've double-checked it, I've got someone else to check out, I've done all of the things” you go to post and there is always a typo, always. No one is perfect. You can change it, nothing's permanent. You can change it in the future. So honestly, just do something.
8) Listen or read inspirational material, obviously my podcast is hyper inspirational.
I have daily affirmations I read and listen to podcasts, I read business books, I find something of on brand like I said business books, Girlboss books, I find them really inspirational and motivational. They get my brain juices flowing and give me some good ideas. But the most important thing is it has to be inspirational to you.
When I first started using daily affirmations, I hated them. I didn't go back to them for a good few years because I just thought they are for insane people looking in the mirror and telling themselves crazy words, but after a while started realising the value of them.
But things change, people change. You have to find out what's inspirational to you. It could be going for a walk in nature. It could be going to a museum, it could be podcasts, it could be books, it could be business books or non-business books. Honestly, it could just be music, Ted Talks, YouTube.
There are heaps of ways to be inspired and motivated. But it's what's most important is that you do the thing that is really beneficial to you.
Hopefully, me telling you about some of my struggles, helps you overcome some of yours, I know sometimes with self-doubt and imposter syndrome it can feel so lonely. Nowadays, we've got social media so we can look at everybody living the #bestlife but we know social media isn't what it seems.
Don't let imposter syndrome control you. Work out how you can manage imposter syndrome and the self-doubt because honestly, that will be what matters the most in your entire journey.